Homily for 9 August 2015, the 11th Sunday after Pentecost--"You Can't Be a Christian and Refuse to Forgive"

You Can’t Be a Christian and Refuse to Forgive

Homily for the 11^th Sunday after Pentecost (9 August 2015, 24 August 2003)

1 Corinthians 9:2-12                         Matthew 18:23-35

 

The message of our Lord Jesus Christ in today’s Gospel reading is direct, clear, and strong.  If we do not forgive our brothers and sisters from our hearts, God will not forgive us, and we will not be saved to eternal life in Heaven.

There is no room in Heaven for resentment, holding grudges, and refusing to forgive.  Heaven is full of God’s perfect love, and where there is love there will always be forgiveness.

Nothing demonstrates human sinfulness more than the refusal to forgive.  Our Lord Jesus Christ, even when He was hanging on the Cross in agony, forgave those who killed Him.

Yet we hold on to petty insults as if they are precious treasures.  We use them as excuses not to forgive.  We remember that such-and-such a person once said something about our family.  We remember that Mrs So-and-so told our children to be quiet in church.  We remember that someone asked us to park more carefully so that others could get by.  We remember that someone failed to answer a greeting.  We remember that our son announced that he would be a musician instead of an engineer.  We remember that our daughter said she would marry her “unsuitable” boyfriend whether we liked him or not.  He wasn’t even Lebanese; he might even have been a Californian!

We cherish these things in our hearts and say that we can never forgive the insult or the shame.  What would people think if we forgave these horrible things and acted as though nothing had ever happened?  What would people say if I remained friends with the person who gossiped about my family and the woman who shushed my children?  What would happen to my reputation if I still welcomed in my home my son the musician and my disobedient daughter and her unsuitable husband?

Well, probably good Christian people would say I did the right thing, the loving thing, the thing Jesus would do.

But the real question is not “What would people think?”  The real question is “What does God think?”  And we know the answer:  “If you do not forgive, God will not forgive you.”

Because we are human beings and subject to sin, forgiveness does not come easily.  Our sinful pride gets in the way.

So we have to practice forgiveness.  We have to work at it.  We have to work at it until we don’t have to work at it anymore.  We have to practice forgiveness until it becomes a habit, and then we have to keep practicing forgiveness until it becomes natural.  This is part of the Christian life of growing in holiness, of developing our relationship with God, of what the Church calls Theosis (becoming God-like).

I am sure that some people will say that of course all this stuff about forgiveness is in the Bible, but, “Father, you just don’t understand our ways.  In our culture, we can’t let people get away with things that shame us.  We can’t forgive these things.”

My answer is that I think I do understand.  Middle Eastern culture is not the only culture that values pride and refuses to forgive insults.  Scottish history is full of battles and murders in retaliation for shame.  The motto of my family, Clan Graham, is even Ne Oublie—don’t forget.

But even if didn’t understand this, one thing is clear.  You can’t be a Christian and refuse to forgive.  You can be Muslim and refuse to forgive.  You can be Jewish and refuse to forgive.  You can be a pagan and refuse to forgive.  But you can’t be a Christian and refuse to forgive.

This is one of the main things that set us apart from all others.  Jesus makes it very clear, so that we cannot claim that we don’t understand:  If you don’t forgive, God will not forgive you.

So let us listen to our Lord, God, and Savior.  Let us forgive one another from our hearts.  And let us give thanks and praise and glory to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the God who forgives us as we forgive others, now and ever and unto the ages of ages.  Amen.